Miami, Day Two: In Which We Quack At Strangers

If you read my last post, you already know that Eleanor and I spent Day One trying not kill ourselves in Reagan National Airport (success!), and ended the day by going to sleep at 10 pm in our hotel room, snuggled up in our plastic-covered bed (cozy!).

Well, I think we made up for our lameness on Day Two. And if we didn’t, then God help us because we tried really, really hard at not sucking.

After taking advantage of the free cornflakes and pound cake they had in the hotel lobby, we walked around and took in all of the amazing Art Deco architecture on Miami Beach. It felt like we had gotten lost on a movie set in the 1940’s. The Empire State Building was also built in the Art Deco style, so maybe that’s why I kept thinking of King Kong the whole time.

I know I’m going to hear a collective sigh from all of my fellow Bostonians when I tell you what we did next, but they can suck a duck.

We figured, why the hell not? We were strangers in a strange city, and the next boat was just about to leave as we were walking by. Imagine how weird it felt for me to see people on the street actually SMILING and quacking back at us while we were on the tour! All out-of-towners take note: Bostonians take it as a personal offense if you quack at us while we’re power-walking to Dunkin’ Donuts on our lunch break. We do not think you are cute, nor do we think it’s funny. Shield your children.

The Duck Tour turned out to be fantastic and really informative. The best part was boating around Star Island and looking at all of the houses that I will never be allowed to step foot in, let alone afford. Maybe they’d let me sit in their shed for a minute. For a fee.

Where are the Roman-styled columns on MY house? Did my Mum forget to build them? We soon got bored of being reminded about our poverty status, so the tour guide threw on a mullet and started serenading people on the highway with the “Love Boat” theme song.

After salsa dancing off of the boat, we realized that we needed some serious beach time.

Did you know that in Miami, all coconuts fall off the tree with booze and straws already included? It’s nature.

Let me tell you something: Miami is not warm in February. Warm for Boston, yes. Warm for Florida? Absolutely not. I laid on the beach in my bathing suit for about 34 seconds before deciding that I was at risk for hypothermia. No wonder there were so many Europeans on the beach in black jeans and boots (…actually nope, I will never understand that).

We heard there were $5 mojitos somewhere on Ocean Drive, and within seconds we were drawn like a magnet to Hosteria Romano 2, a cute Italian place on the strip. We weren’t too hungry yet, and honestly, we just wanted some booze. Deciding on just appetizers, we ordered Prosciutto and Melone and Tomato Bruschetta, accompanied by some unknown species of plant.

The food tasted almost as authentic as the stuff I ate while actually studying in Italy. We also got to sit right in the middle of the sidewalk and laugh at the drunks who came crawling out of the South Beach Wine & Food Festival around dinnertime.

We went back to the Princess Ann to get ready for our first night out on the town, and took some quality Myspace pictures to really capture the essence of our true personalities.

Don’t you feel like we really know each other now?

I had heard tremendous things about The Clevelander from multiple people before our trip, and I was so excited to check it out. It’s a nice hotel with an outdoor bar attached, but oh, it’s so much more than that. It feels like you’ve just walked into MTV’s Spring Break circa 1994. There’s go-go dancers, bartenders who like to play with fire, and the dancefloor is built right over the outdoor pool. The food is delicious, and overall this bar is like a gigantic playground for adults.

What really sold me on The Clevelander was 1) our hot waiter Malique (love you boo) and 2) it wasn’t pretentious at all. No cover charge, no judgemental dress code (I’M LOOKING AT YOU NIKKI BEACH), and you can come in and out whenever you want until 5 AM. We ended up coming here three nights in a row.

As for what happened after dinner, well come on, I can’t tell you guys EVERYTHING. But I will tell you that we went home and played checkers in our feetie pajamas before drinking a warm glass of milk and going to bed at a decent hour. Yes. Absolutely true.

- Alison